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7:07 p.m. - Saturday, Oct. 18, 2003
Either Learn How to Shop or Stay the Hell Out of the WiseWay on Saturday Morning, You Jerks
How pathetic is my life, when to me the ability to go to sleep when I feel tired on a Saturday afternoon -- to go to sleep before I finish cleaning the house -- seems to me the height of luxury, like a trip to a spa would be for someone else.

I had the luxury of going to sleep without finishing the housework because I am on vacation next week. I don't have to get the house cleaned, mow the lawn, fix my chilled coffee for the week, do the laundry, etc., etc., on my regular timetable because I can friggin' do it during the week! Oh joy! What luxury! What self-indulgence! I feel positively guilty!

I was in the grocery store this morning, wanting to shoot people, particularly those people who stand in the middle of the aisle with their shopping cart, not moving, apparently lost in contemplation of the great mysteries of the universe, or perhaps just trying to figure out what they have a coupon for. I hate those people. I hate all of humanity every Saturday morning when I'm in the grocery store. And I know it's because I'm tired. This leads me to wonder whether my entire attitude toward life* is not a product of sleep deprivation. Y'know, those cults use sleep deprivation as a brainwashing technique.

Every vacation, around Wednesday, I start asking myself, "What is this WONDERFUL feeling? Why do I feel so WONDERFUL?" and then I realize: it's simply a matter of getting enough sleep.


* "Life is stupid."


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