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12:09 p.m. - Monday, Sept. 24, 2007
What It's Like to Be Me
Example #1: Early morning at the office. I'm drinking my coffee. Office neighbor walks by and says, "Good morning, Lily." I freeze and spend a moment of blind panic searching my sluggish brain for the proper response to that ordinary greeting among you humans. I manage to croak out an uncertain, "Hi..."

Example #2: I get a notice from Big Impersonal Bank that my credit card number "may be been stolen or compromised" and they're issuing me a new account number and new card, enclosed. I call the number and activate the new account. I get a pen and sign the new card. I go find some scissors and cut the old card into tiny pieces and throw them away. Cut to today: I'm online shopping. I get to the "Payment" screen. I dive into my purse for my new credit card, since I don't have my new account number memorized yet ... and my eyes wander over the distressingly familiar number. I mentally say a very naughty word. That card I cut up? into tiny, tiny pieces? That was my NEW card.

Being me is a just a big inconvenience.


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