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8:44 a.m. - Tuesday, Jul. 13, 2004
TMI Update
If, in the course of casual conversation, someone ever mentions to you the phrase, "intravaginal ultrasound," I want you to imagine this: a long, slender dildo, as white as the undriven snow, and Cyclopsian, with one eye in its head.

And I hope that the inventor of K-Y Jelly received a Nobel Peace Prize for it.

One more thing: when the prep instructions for a medical procedure include the following: "One hour prior to the procedure, drink 32 oz. of clear liquid. Do not urinate," the people conducting said procedure have a moral obligation to start it on time. I'm glad the people dealing with me yesterday met their moral obligation. Otherwise there would have been trouble, with a capital T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for......


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