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8:16 p.m. - Saturday, Dec. 13, 2003
Another Scintillating Saturday Night
The most excitement I ever have on a Saturday night is watching COPS.

This guy's just a witness. Obviously, he's committed Aggravated Bad Hair, but they didn't make an issue out of it.

They ended up not arresting this guy because there weren't any visible injuries to his girlfriend (the lady on the right). Still, he ought to be locked up on charges of For Chrissakes Put A Goddamn Shirt On.

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I woke up this evening from my nap thinking, this (sleep) is better than sex. Then I realized that, to express my thought more accurately, I should say that sleep is better than an orgasm. I of all people should know that "sex" is not synonymous with "orgasm." But it's also true that sleep is better than sex, anyway. :(

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I finally (after two weeks) got tired of hearing those unearthly noises coming from the back of my refrigerator. So I called the refrigerator repair people. They can't come out this weekend. I have to wait until next Saturday. If the refrigerator breaks down, I'll just have to put my food out in the unheated front porch.

That's it. That's my scintillating Saturday. That's my pathetic life. Aren't you glad you're not me?

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