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4:29 p.m. - Sunday, Feb. 11, 2007
My Cooking Is Deadly
Tee-hee. "Blogger is currently experiencing a problem." Well, I'm over here on Diaryland, so what do I care? Blogger has its advantages (e.g., free image hosting), but Diaryland seems to have fewer bugs. Although I've been away for awhile.

Anyway. Just got my 500 words honestly. Pretty sad that I feel obliged to come in here and say that, eh? It should go without saying.

Anyway. I have definitely lost my mojo, cooking-wise. Over the past few months I have been cooking up a lot of my old favorites, and they've all been turning out like crap. Last December I gave myself food poisoning, I think, with a pasta-with-ricotta-and-tomato-sauce thing. I puked my guts out and was sick for three days. I didn't have the courage to eat some more of that pasta and find out if it was in fact the culprit, but I had strong suspicions. I threw the rest of it out.

So today I was cooking up some pasta to make a Greek pasta salad, and while I was messing around with the red onion, the pot with the pasta boiled over. The foaming water raised up the lid and cascaded down the sides of the pot, spilling onto the burner. I said a naughty word, yanked the lid off, and the pot calmed down. Calmed way down. Stopped boiling. I left the lid off and turned the dial up a little to get the water boiling again. Went back to chopping red onion. A few minutes later, "Man," I said to myself, "that water on that burner smells awful." I went to stir the pot. It still wasn't boiling. WTF? It had been five minutes! I glanced down at the burner. Oh, sh*t!!!!

The water spilling out of the pot had put out the flame. The burner was filling up my kitchen with propane gas.

I ran around frantically opening windows and fanning the stove with the cookbook. Realistically, I don't know how much propane would come out of an unlit burner set on medium-high for five minutes. Enough to smell bad, definitely. But maybe not enough to blow up the house.

So, thus far we've established that my cooking (a) tastes like crap, (b) is sickening, and (c) is potentially disastrous.

 

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