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8:39 a.m. - Thursday, Feb. 05, 2004
Mood Malfunction
I had a little meltdown yesterday, that�s the �why� of that strange entry. I really need to learn to control my temper, but, of course, I�m not going to.
So here I am in the midst of an attack of depression, saying to myself over and over: �It�s only depression. It�s not reality. Sooner or later, it will go away.� Telling myself that I should be glad, in this economy, to have a cushy job that pays fairly well, even if it bores me out of my friggin� mind. That I should be GLAD that I have access to the Internet, instead of calling it a barren wasteland.
The air is heavy. I can hardly breathe.
It�s February. I TOLD you I hate February.
My vacation starts the week of Feb. 15. Then I will be able to SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP.
And there�s this fucking Carly Simon song from the 70s playing over and over in my head. In my opinion, all surviving singer/songwriters from the 70s should be stood up against a wall and shot. Think of all the human suffering they have caused, and all just to make a buck for themselves!
Which, I suppose, implies that if they had caused human suffering for some nobler reason, their guilt would be lesser. Is that possible?
Nothing is possible when you�re depressed.
I certainly hope I will be able to write something more intelligent later.
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