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10:30 a.m. - Thursday, Jan. 08, 2004
One of those stupid surveys
Because I'm tired, because I'm doped up on cold medicine, because I'm lazy, I can find nothing better to do than fill out a survey I borrowed from Sam.
1. What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
Leroy. I kid you not. And everybody called him by his nickname, "Mohawk."
2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
I prefer not to think about underwear.
3. What is the song you want played at your Funeral?
The fourth movement of Ein Deutsches Requiem, "Wie lieblich sind deine Wohnungen," not because I believe a word of it, but because it's pretty.
4. What Would Your Last Meal be before getting executed?
A pepperoni pizza.
5. Beatles or Stones?
Neither!!!!!
6. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be?
Oh, come on, how can I possibly limit myself to just one? Well, if I have to choose . . . Karl Rove.
7. The person whose problems you would never want to hear again?
Elizabeth Smart.
8. What is the thing most important to you (as far as physical) about the preferred sex?
That undefinable and unpredictable thing called "chemistry." People I've found attractive have possessed an amazing diversity of physical and mental characteristics. It's just that old "je ne sais quoi." And if it ain't there, I just don't care.
9. Do you secretly hate some of your friendsters but are too nice to reject them?
What the hell is a friendster?
10. If you could have any super power what would it be?
The ability to travel backward through time without changing the present (or the future, from the point of view of the past) � unless, of course, I wanted to change it.
11. Favorite hangover cure?
I hardly ever drink, and never to excess, so I don't get hangovers.
12. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
One and a half. The Prozac intensifies the effect of the alcohol.
13. Favorite Outkast lyric?
Who or what is Outkast?
14. Hair color you most like someone you're dating to have?
I don't care about color. It's the cut I care about. If the guy shaves his head, or has long hair or a pony tail or a mullet or any of the other atrocities guys commit with their hair, I'm turned off.
15. If you had to be blind or deaf?
Deaf. I would hate to give up music, but reading and writing are so great a part of my life that I would hardly know what to do with myself if I were limited to listening to whatever crappy books happened to be on tape.
16. Do you have any psychiatric problems?
I have atypical depression, also known as dysthymia. I also have some sort of social anxiety disorder.
17. Siblings that should go to rehab?
No, my siblings are all responsible, upstanding citizens.
18. Least favorite month?
February. By then I'm sick of the cold, but the spring flowers haven't started to come up yet.
19. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
"The Barefoot Executive," starring Kurt Russell and a chimpanzee.
20. Favorite person in the whole world?
Me.
21. When's the last time you went on a date?
I think it was in 1999 or thereabouts.
22. Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
Dirty. I really do not like violent movies AT ALL.
23. Fall or spring?
Both.
24. Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
Some guy I French-kissed when I was lying in bed drunk as hell on New Year's Eve, long ago. Don't remember his name.
25. If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Jesus. The Prozac has so thoroughly demolished my sex drive that I'm scarcely interested in boys, much less girls.
26. Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
Right where I live right now.
27. Who is the person you can count on most?
Any one of my siblings.
28. If you could date any celebrity past or present, time and age are not factors?
Humphrey Bogart.
29. What books have you pretended you've read?
The Bible.
30. What's a word you would use to describe your life?
Tiring.
31. Favorite drinking game?
I hardly ever drink, I certainly don't play drinking games.
32. What did you dream last night?
I didn't. I took some nighttime cold medicine and slept like a log.
33. Favorite bands?
I used to like Steely Dan but I'm beyond all that now.
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