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3:41 p.m. - Wednesday, Dec. 17, 2003
Bah Humbug
If there's one thing I HATE about the Xmas season, it's having to listen to piped-in Christmas songs while you're shopping. Not just Christmas songs, but NEW and WHIMSICAL interpretations of Christmas songs. I was in the Nordstrom Rack store the other day and had to flee a very loud, piped-in, WHIMSICAL interpretation of "The Twelve Days of Christmas," including sound effects. Why, people? If you're trying to evoke nostalgia, sing the goddamn song the way it's always been sung. If you're trying to be creative, come up with a new goddamn song.

And another thing. I hate secular Christmas songs. Not because I'm religious (because I ain't), but because they're all crap. Except for "Jingle Bells," as long as you don't interpret it whimsically.

Oh, and one more thing. After months of listening to impersonations of Santa Claus, I am ready to run amuck randomnly killing people. Why, in the name of God, must it always be "HO HO HO"?!?!?!? I understand that Santa is alleged to be cheerful. I understand that people* communicate cheerfulness by laughing. But why HO HO HO? Why not HA HA HA? Why not NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK? Why not TEE HEE HEE?

OK, that's my Christmas rant. One of 'em, anyway. Maybe later I'll rant about commercialism. Or about how Christians whine about how Christmas is being hijacked when they hijacked it from the pagans in the first place.

Season's greetings! or beatings, maybe.

_________________________

* Is Santa human? Discuss.

 

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